January 30, 2008

I can't believe I haven't made an entry in two months! A lot has happened since my last entry in November. I'll try to think back. First of all, we were all able to gather as a family in my home for Thanksgiving this year, something we were not able to do last year. Everybody pitched in and it was a great day. Jeff looked at my plate and said "mom, why did you take so much food?" I told hime "because I can." We all had a great time. I have inserted a picture of Julie, Grace, and Robert making our family holiday treat -- dumplings! Robert is now our official "dumpling stirrer." How proud that little grandson of mine felt being able to help prepare our Thanksgiving dinner! God bless him and everybody else who helped me that day!

Okay, it's now the beginning of December and I've decided I'm ready to drive again! However, in order to do that it was imperative for me to get a vehicle that was more reliable. I had $5,000.00 to spend on a car. I searched over the internet on autotrader.com and was more than a little discouraged at the prices of used vehicles. This was on a Sunday afternoon. Sunday evening I sent out a prayer request to my sister, Julie, and my friend, Ranae, telling them about how much I felt I needed a car. Monday I did nothing about it. Tuesday morning I was showing Mike how expensive cars are when lo and behold a car in my price ranged popped up! This car was in my price range, had relatively low mileage on it, and it even was the same kind of car, a Malibu, as the one that met its final resting place in the mountains of Colorado when I was returning from Las Vegas in July, 2006. It's almost the same color, but it's two years newer. So I emailed the salesman who responded immediately. He drove out here with the car, my brother came over to check it out mechanically, and I made the decision to buy it. The salesman mentioned that I was very "lucky" as this car had just been marked down after close of business the night before from $8000.00 to $4995.00. I then explained to him how I don't believe in luck and the prayer request that had been issued just 2 nights prior. The salesman and I drove back to the dealership (I was behind the wheel of the car) and I got a chance to witness to him about my illness, my progress, etc. He was shocked. I have inserted a picture of me getting into my new wheels for the first time BY MYSELF to meet two dear friends for breakfast. I can't even begin to explain how good that felt! Seventeen months to be chauffered around for someone like me who is kind of independent is not easy! God is good!

Fast forward to December 17th. Now I've decided I want to work part time again doing transcription from home. So I went out to the message board from the school I had graduated and asked if they knew of anybody who was interested in hiring a part time transcriptionist whose skills were very rusty! Within an hour I had a private message from another graduate of the school I went to with a lead for a transcription company in southern California. Now this was ideal because it wasn't medical transcription, but regular transcription. As I stated before, my medical transcription skills are very rusty. I sent my resume to the manager of the transcription and I heard back from her within 15 minutes! Amazing! So, now I have a part time job to supplement my disability income. It is working out very well! I'll be able to save some money, travel a little bit more, and purchase a few things. We have been so strapped financially since I became ill -- this is HUGE for me! What a morale booster, too. For someone who has been employed for 40 years to be forced to basically just sit around is not easy.

December 24th -- all of the Dorans were here to celebrate Christmas Eve, again in our home. What a terrific feeling once again to do one of the things I love to do -- family celebrations in my home! Once again, everybody brought something to eat which gave me more time to focus on cleaning and decorating my home for Christmas.

Mike and I didn't have a Christmas tree last year. I was too weak and it was too much work. Boy, did it ever look pretty this year sitting there all lit up in my living room. I actually didn't take it down until a week and a half ago. We just enjoyed looking at it so much.

December 29th -- All of the Allens are here again for Christmas. Another beautiful moment in time. We laughed, we talked, we cooked, we thanked God for all he has done for all of us. I also had a picture of my nephew, Aaron, located in a prominent position in the tree. Aaron is proudly serving our country in the Marine Corps and was not able to be with us in body this year. We missed him terribly but he was here -- in our hearts. Of course my sister Julie -- you may not know it but she can be a rascal sometimes -- kept taking pictures on her cell phone and sending them to Aaron while we were all talking to him on the phone. Aaron said that we were cruel, but Julie just kept snapping away, smiling all the while.

I guess that's just about it for now. I wish I would have at least kept notes because so much has happened over the last two months -- all good!

I am going for a CT scan on February 22nd, so if you're reading this journal, please start to send the prayers up. I have been on chemotherapy continuously since mid December 2006 and it would be so wonderful to be able to take a break, or better yet be able to stop poisoning my body forever! I told Mike the other day, I feel so good that I can't even imagine how much energy I would have if I weren't taking chemo. So all of you prayer warriors, hopefully this time it's in God's timing for my healing. Thank you so much for your continued prayers on my behalf.

I'll try to post more regularly in the future.

November 25, 2007

Well, November has been an interesting month! I'll start with the fun stuff first. We (Mike, mom, and I) left for a trip to Las Vegas for my nephew's wedding on November 8th. What can I say?! What a wonderful trip. Mike and I stayed at Fiesta Henderson and mom stayed with Debbie. Our room was very nice and best of all it was FREE! We did a little bit of gambling, but not much. Most of our time was spent participating in all of the various wedding festivities.

Friday night we attended the rehearsal dinner/party hosted by my best friend and soul sister, Debbie. The food was fantastic and so was the company. What can I say about Debbie -- just about everything! I don't know what I would do without her in my life. She has helped me out SO many times and she is always there for me. Our entire family owes her a debt of gratitude for all that she has been to Tony -- and all he has become because of her. She helped him grow into the fine adult that he is today. Debbie...thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Saturday was the wedding itself. We had never attended a Jewish wedding before and it was very interesting and quite beautiful. I have included a picture of me, mom, and Debbie with this post. The reception...WOW! The food, the atmosphere, the companionship were all superb! Thank you, Tony and Rachel, for letting us be a part of this.

Sunday was the wedding brunch held at the Bali Hai Golf Club at the south end of "The Strip". What a beautiful place! Once again, the food and fellowship were fantastic! After the brunch Mike and I headed down to spend two nights at Four Queens located on Fremont Street in downtown Las Vegas. The light shows were great! The U.S. Air Force has an entertainment group called "Tops In Blue". There was a free show on Sunday night on Fremont St. This group is absolutely fantastic! We couldn't stay for the entire show, though, as I guess me leg finally decided it had had enough and we had to call it a night. We did a little bit of gambling on Sunday and Monday, though not much. This was a wedding trip!

We returned home on Tuesday night. My leg held up real well during the entire trip (except for Sunday night) and I was "moving right along" keeping up with Mike and mom in the airport! The flight home was pretty scary, though, as there was a lot of turbulence on the plane for a while. I was wondering if we were going to end up in heaven!

Thursday morning Mike and I headed to the oncologist's office to find out the results of my CT scan. They were not what I had hoped, although the oncologist assured me that they were not bad and it was nothing to worry about (easy for him to say). The two tumors in my liver are stable, meaning there was no growth that could be measured. He said the tumor in my lung had grown from .5 cm to 1.4 cm. This came as quite a shock to me as the doctor had never told me before that I even had a tumor in my lung. I was really hoping for some better news as I really could use a break from chemotherapy. It has been nearly a year now since I started chemotherapy.

Starting this past Friday (the day after Thanksgiving), they have added Avastin to my current regimen of Xeloda pills. Avastin is not chemotherapy (Xeloda is). Avastin is a drug that is infused into your port which goes directly to the tumors and cuts off the blood supply so, ideally, the tumors will not grow and will die. I will go for the Avastin treatments every 2 weeks and will have a repeat CT scan in January.

In addition, my knee has been giving me a lot of problems since we returned. I called my primary care physician last Monday just to be sure he didn't want me to have an xray done. It is slowly getting better, though I am still walking with a cane so I can be less weightbearing on that leg.

We were able to have Thanksgiving here again this year, which has become our family tradition. I had hoped to do all of the cooking, but my knee kept me from doing it all. I called on family members (Julie and family, Jeff and Nancy) to help and their immediate response was "No problem. What time do you want us there?" Isn't family great?!

I have been suffering on and off with minor bouts of "the blues" due in part to the results of my CT scan, along with the pain in my knee and the fact that we saw the sun for the first time on Thursday since our return from vacation.

I would still ask for your prayers for me. I'm still determined to beat this disease and claim this miracle in full! It's hard for me to remember sometimes, though, that all of this is in God's timing and only He holds the answers to this journey I am on. So...specificially my prayer requests are for (1) that the next scan in late January would be CLEAN, and (2) that I would not get these minor cases of "the blues".

Please feel free to come and visit me. Company is a good thing. I'm usually at home during the day, but call first.

November 3, 2007

Well, Thursday and Friday were fun. Thursday morning I went to St. Anne's for my bloodwork, and Friday morning I got to go back again for my routine CT scan. There was only one little "blip" in that they couldn't find my bloodwork. I didn't let my blood pressure rise, and all was well in a matter of minutes as the found it right away. The CT scan was a breeze and I was out of the hospital in less than hour. I will find out the results of the scan on November 15th when I go back to see my oncologist. For all of you who have been praying for me, please pray that this scan is "clean". Even though I am tolerating the Xeloda extremely well, I could really use a LONG (preferably forever) chemo break! Poison is poison and that's what any form of chemo is!

I'm looking outside right now at 7:45 a.m. and the sky is incredible. It is the beautiful dawn of a new day.

I'll be working the next few days tying up loose ends for our trip to Las Vegas on November 8th for my nephew's wedding. There will be lots of fun, lots of food, and lots of relaxation on the itinerary.

There is nothing else new. I'll post a picture of my new niece-in-law when I return.

Thanks again for all of your prayers. I feel good!

October 19, 2007

There's nothing earth-shattering going on health-wise which is always a good thing. Last Friday Mike and I went to visit the nurses at St. Vincent's Hospital who so lovingly took care of me last year. It has been nearly a year since I left their care. Mike took a couple of pictures. Some of the nurses were not on shift that day. My physical therapist at the hospital, Sister Julie is also shown. Thank you, Burn Unit nurses, for the excellent care I received while I was your patient! Thank you, Sister Julie, for encourgaing me to do my therapy even on the days I didn't want to...which were many. You are part of the reason I am walking so well today. I miss you guys...but I don't want to come back as a patient! Someone else can have my room!

My next CT scan is scheduled for 2 weeks from today (November 2nd). To those who continue to keep me in your prayers, please pray that this time nothing will show up on the scan and my physical healing will be complete! While I've handled chemo relatively well I'm getting tired of poisoning my body. I know the victory is coming...I just don't know when. Only God knows the timing and what is best for me. Thank you for your continued prayer support. It's why I feel so good!

October 7, 2007

It's a very warm day today. Where did fall go? This is a happy day. I just got finished making reservations to fly to Las Vegas in November for my newphew's wedding. It will be a mini vacation, as well. We will spend 3 nights at a hotel in Henderson (where my nephew's wedding will take place). Then, Mike and i will head downtown to Fremont St. for 2 nights. If you haven't seen the light show on Fremont St. in Las Vegas, you're missing it! Millions of laser lights in a canopy about 5 blocks long with music. The show varies and is shown on the hour (I think); each show is different. There are also artists on the sidewalks, live music for entertainment and just people watching (yikes!) -- some of the folks are strange indeed. The weather in Las Vegas should be wonderful in early November! It will be my first trip since I got sick and will be a dry run for my trip to Alaska in the spring. The picture with this entry was taken at Lake Mead when my nephew and I went sight-seeing there a couple of years ago.

I have no new medical news today; however, my leg is loosening up more each day. I can walk normally now (without a limp) unless I am exceptionally tired. God has given me more time (I pray a LOT more time). It's amazing how much joy a person can find in the small things. My sister said she read an article once and a question was posed in the article: "Would we live our lives differently if we were within walking distance of a graveyard?" My answer is an unequivocable YES!

October 2, 2007

This past weekend was a good weekend. On Friday evening Mike and I attended our local high school football game for homecoming (Go Generals!). We won, and it was a fantastic, cool evening to be outside. The moon was full and beautiful. However, after the game was over we made the decision that I would try to walk to the car (which was about 100 miles away!) as we felt that with all of the people at the game Mike would never be able to find me in the crowd. Actually, it was about 1/2 mile or so away...I walked the entire distance. I commented to Mike that the muscles in my leg would surely be sore the next morning, but they were not! Who would have thought 1 year ago that I would EVER be able to walk this distance!

Please...never take the fact that you can walk for granted! I thought back to last year at around Thanksgiving time. My kids and grandkids were here for dinner. I tried my best, but Mike and Jeff did most of the dinner preparation (I had only been home from the nursing home for about 2-1/2 weeks at the time.) My cousin, Jon, and his wife stopped out and had dinner with us. After dinner I was demonstrating my ability to take about two steps without using my walker. My cousin Jon was a bit nervous about it but there was cheering all around when I was able to accomplish this feat! Praise God...what a difference a year makes!

Our youngest grandson, Robert, spent the day and the night with Mike and I on Saturday night. I got to spend some real quality time with him. He is getting big too fast. He started kindergarten this year and was showing off his handwriting and mat abilities. Wouldn't it be nice if time could stand still when our grandchildren are so young and so free of inhibitions? We had a fantastic time!

Yesterday morning bright and early (8:15 a.m.) I had my routine visit with my oncologist. He continues to feel that I am doing extremely well. My blood counts are up; I feel stronger every week. My spirits remain high, though he did give me some news that made me a little discouraged. He was in contact with my surgeon regarding a possible liver resection at my request. My surgeon does not think a liver resection would be a good idea in view of the infection I had in my leg last year. He feels that it would be too risky. I'm not too sure why he feels this way, but I am going to make an appointment to talk with him about it. While I have implicit trust in my surgeon (after all, he was the only one who thought I "deserved a chance at life" last year), a second opinion by a liver specialist may be in order. Of course, since we serve a Mighty God surgery might not even be necessary!

I start on my next round of Xeloda (chemo pills) this Friday. I go back to the oncologist's office in 3 weeks just to have blood counts taken. In about 5 weeks I am scheduled for a CT scan to make sure the Xeloda is doing what the oncologist thinks it is doing (his words). Please pray for me that this scan would be clean! While I am tolerating this chemo medicine quite well, it is still poison. It be wonderful if I could cease any form of chemotherapy. That is the miracle my family and I are praying for.

I continue to have neuropathy in my hands and feet, but I think it is getting slightly better with time.

Although I was a little bit discouraged yesterday after hearing the news regarding the liver resection, I'm pretty much back to myself today. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my journal.

WE SERVE A GOD OF MIRACLES!

September 22, 2007

It is another beautiful day! Autumn will soon be here in all of its colorful, glorious splendour. I continue to grow stronger daily. Yesterday we had a busy day. We ran errands for about 3 hours, came home, ate dinner, and then attended our local high school football game. After the game was over I walked more than 1/4 mile to the car. My husband offered to pick me up, but I told him that it would be good therapy for me to walk to the car. Needless to say, I was tired by the time we got there and the muscles in my upper leg are hurting somewhat today. Hurting muscles is a good thing! It means I gave them a workout.

It was an incredible night to be outside. I saw 2 old friends and work associates at the game who I haven't seen since long before my illness. Thank you, Stacy and Dawn for not saying I am skinny (even though I am). Saying the word thin is ok, but the word skinny makes me feel self-conscious. I lost a lot of weight during my illness and throughout my 6 months of infused chemotherapy (FOLFOX6 + Avastin). My lowest weight (while on chemo) was 111. I'm happy to say I'm now up to 124 and gaining weight weekly. Thank you for not looking shocked when you saw me!

I have one more day of chemo pills to take, then I will be off for 11 days -- woohoo! So far, this chemo regimen has been good with very few side effects. I am very encouraged by this. If it weren't for the neuropathy in my feet and hands (chemo related) I would feel almost normal! Making that statement is just one more miracle in a list of MANY!

I'll try to post here several times weekly and if there is any new news about my health. Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for your continued prayers and support.